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By Keith B (23rd Jul 2007)

Jo is back baby, and she has better resolution! That’s right, Nintendo 64’s hottest vixen has had a make over, been given some spiffy new threads and a hair cut for her sequel on the 360! Personally I always liked Jo better that Lara Croft. I can hear all of you Tomb Raider die-hards grinding your teeth and beginning your emails of complaint for that comment, but seriously guys…..Angelina Jolie really aint that hot. Her lips are just waaaaaaaaaay too big and she is a little sloppy round the edges! Sorry, back on topic….Perfect Dark Zero is….I’m sorry, I really don’t get the hype for Angelina, there are just so many better looking…..ok, ok! That’s the last you will hear of it, for a little while at least!

Perfect Dark Zero (PDZ) takes all of the winning aspects of the Original 64 version and tacks on a new (equally unbelievable) story and some sorely needed graphical upgrades! You play the character of Joanna Dark, who is now a freelance operative working with a small team for the highest bidder. It is a little difficult to work out if this is a precursor to the original, sequel or completely stand alone, but honestly unless you are a complete loser and have no life who gives a baboons rear right?! The go is that you have been called in on a ‘snatch and grab’ covert op, and you end up getting tied into some evil corporate big-wigs plan for world domination. I feel for these evil geniuses who always have their plans dashed in these games! Being a megalomaniac myself destined to take over the world, a small part of me dies every time the hero wins. But hey, that is fantasy…everyone knows the bad guy wins in real life! HAHAHAHAAAAAA (evil laugh)!!!!

Oh, sorry ladies, for those of you out there who didn’t have the privilege of playing the first N64 game, PDZ is a First Person Shooter (FPS for those of us educated). The game also integrates a certain level of ‘sneaking around’ and stealth operations. But don’t fret sports fans that side of the fence is limited and there is plenty of ‘run around shooting guns like Rambo’ that would appease the most blood thirsty of us! It could be said that PDZ is a cross between Doom and Splinter Cell….really, how can ya lose with that combination?! You aren’t always alone in your battles, sometimes you have a partner, and you always have a stupid Russian bird who sits on the satellite link telling you where to go!

Game Play is very good, but I was hoping for more. The levels are quite big, but there are little arrows that appear on the ground whenever you spend too much time in a location to help along your way. You would have thought that would be a bit of a help for the bad guys tracking you down, but maybe they are just incredibly thick? The Death Match alternative is excellent, just like in the original. The selection of weapons and ability to set the scenarios to your personal specifications means you can play just the way you want, and not bother with all that annoying stuff, like walking and stuff??? The big new aspect that seems standard in many FPS games now-a-days is Co-op playing. Really fun stuff, especially if you have a dumb mate or stupid younger sibling….just get them to walk into any room first and take the brunt of the fire, then come in and clean up shop and work on that accuracy percentage!

Graphics are fairly descent, but similar to the game-play component I was hoping for more. Sure Jo is sexy in her little camo crop top, and the scenes/rendering is ok, it just isn’t anywhere near as realistic looking as some of the other FPS’s around on the new generation platforms. Having said that it is also a little refreshing seeing a game that hasn’t sacrificed game-play for graphics. Yes, that’s right, I contradicted myself….my article so nee ner nee ner neeee ner! The animation for speech and the cut scenes are a bit old school (that’s code for ordinary).

The sound is pretty spot on the money. As I mentioned above the speech doesn’t really sync in with the animation, but I really didn’t give two hoots and I still don’t! Background ambience is good and the soundtrack is very suited to the action. The voices are all good, except the Russian chick is bloody annoying, but she only chimes in from time to time.

The controls are not quite as clear cut as the 64 version, and they take a little getting used to. For me it took about the first level to be competent, but for you mere mortals you should probably expect to struggle for 5 or 6! I gotta say I found it really difficult to die. Apparently in the not too distant future armor regenerates itself and your health (similar to halo). This doesn’t necessarily make things much easier. The levels are still long, taking between 15-25 minutes to complete at a normal pace. There is a lot of variety in the requirements that are needed through each level though, so it is hard to get bored….unless of course you are completely unco and get stuck on one area….yes, I’m talking to YOU!!!!

The Scott’s Final Word:
Perfect Dark Zero, well, maybe not perfect, but it held my attention for quite some time. Having said that I am a sucker for any half descent FPS, and considering it was a sequel to one of the best N64 games produced. Jeez there were some good games on the N64…in particular that one and Bond (Goldeneye) just sapped away my early university years! OH, ummm, PDZ, yeah, buy it if you like FPS games, if not then you really shouldn’t admit it to anyone or you will be hazed for all time….and you would deserve it!!!!! All hail The Scott!!