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By Keith B (11th Jun 2007)

What is the best part about the Dead or Alive Fighting games? If you are a guy and offered any other answer than “the hot chicks with over-sized boobs” then you need to be castrated! Yes, let’s face it, the fighting and story lines of the games in this franchise are not the best. For one the story usually seems like something written by the World Wrestling Federation and the fighting itself never lives up to the Tekken games or, of course that Grand ole Gal that is Street Fighter. And for all of you geekazoids out there who are whining “what about Mortal Kombat and Killer Instinct?”…..I haven’t forgotten them, they were just boring! Anywho, back to business! Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 (DOAX2) gets rid of all that meaningless fighting and storyline rubbish and concentrates on what we have already established as the most important thing about these games i.e. sexy CG animated chicks, scantily clad, jumping up and down! The best part is, of course, when they stop jumping parts of them keep moving……but I’ll talk more about that later on!<br /><br />
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So, what exactly is the game all about if it isn’t to do with fighting? Well, I played this game twice through and my best guess is that there is no point! Not to spoil the ending, but don’t get your hopes up! Here is the general gist for ya…. Zack, that crazy Billionaire that he is, has enlisted the help of some mysterious aliens to raise his Island (which must have sunk at the end of the first game) from the depths of the Ocean for the sole reason of hosting these hot chicks with really fake looking….assets. And guess what? You get to be one of the hot chickies! You choose your character from the bevy of hot CG eye candy and then head off to New Zack Island for a couple of weeks of rest, relaxation and wearing skimpy bathers. Now, either Zack (like myself) is simply a perve, or he has some ulterior motive to inviting these vixens to his paradise. I have no idea what this motive may be, so I am going to stick with option 1 i.e. he is a pervert who likes looking at dumb hot chicks jiggling their naughty bits for no apparent reason! By the hair on my chinny chin chin I am not going to hold that against him!<br /><br />
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When you get to the Island you go on a little tour, with your guide being one of the other hotties on the Island. By the way gents, don’t skip through the cut scenes, they are worth every penny the DOA team spent on them! Basically the day is broken into four parts, morning, afternoon, evening and night. In the day light hours you will have the opportunity to participate in a range of sexist activities that span from Beach Volley Ball to Jet Ski Racing. There is also the waterslide (which is surprisingly difficult) and the Butt battle (among others). Nope, no miss-print there sports fans, the Butt Battle is a one-on-one test of stability and power of the gluteus maximus! Two girls stand butt-to-butt on a floating pontoon in a swimming pool, the aim of the game is to knock your opponent into the H2O with the good old reverse sumo! Needless to say there is much splashing and jiggling to ensue! <br /><br />
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After the sun goes down it is back to the hotel, where you have the option of going to bed, or going to the casino. If you were successful in your day time events you will have plenty of Zack Dollars to have a punt with. The options of Black Jack, Poker, Roulette, and the Pokies are on offer. If you win big you can spend it on presents for the other girls, equipment upgrades or a nifty and more revealing bikini (or school girl outfit, which ever takes your fancy). <br /><br />
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Well, there are two good points about this game. The graphics and the sound. Visually the game is pretty kickin’, and who cares if the chicks are just computer animation, they are damn foxy! I can just imagine the “Motion Capture” team doing research into the effect of gravity on real and silicon enhanced breasts! Now as much as I think writing game reviews is one of the best jobs on the planet, I reckon motion capture for this game would take the cake! As I mentioned the cut scenes are bloomin’ fantastic, quite explicit in parts also, which in my opinion is a positive thing! The sound takes a back seat to the graphics, but there are some good tunes, and the Island “Radio Station” allows you to pick your songs. The girls voices are moderately suggestive, which adds to the ambience that was no doubt the game designers goal!<br /><br />
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Game play wise, keeping your interest and pretty much every other aspect of the game are arrogantly terrible. I say arrogantly because I am sure the designers knew that hormone crazed teens and deviates, like myself, would buy the game just for the eye candy and wouldn’t care if the game-play was even there! Well, this is one deviate it didn’t work on! Quite frankly if I want to see scantily clad birds I’ll surf the web or watch World Movies on pay TV! <br /><br />
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The Scott’s Final Word<br /><br />
The game held my interest for about 2 hours and, as I have already covered, it had nothing to do with earning Zack Dollars! Why did they even bother with the game? They may as well have just made a CG movie to follow up the DOA film…..Holly Valance and that Aoki chick are FINE in that flick, but neither have the same ‘proportions’ as their CG counter parts! I am surprised they didn’t introduce a pair of Twins as new characters in the game……Mmmmmmm, Twins!!!!!!<br /><br />